Those Kids Makin' Me Feel Old

Let me confess, I grew up on MTV. It was easily my favorite channel. I was there through the transition from music videos 24 hours a day to the deluge of reality and game shows (Singled Out anyone?). My parents couldn't possibly understand that I would watch marathons of programming they deemed crap but kept me glued to the television. Last night while watching the MTV Movie Awards (which in actuality was a two hour commercial for the new Twilight movie), I found myself confused and involuntarily cringing. A lot.

Mini-Cringe: When Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and other 90s comedians came on stage to present the first award they seemed like pot-smoking dads who have no desire to hang out with their kids. The jokes weren't funny and the audience reaction was non-existent. I give them a pass because they probably felt ridiculous to be in a room where Justin Bieber and his spectacular hairdo are considered God-like.

Full On Cringe: I wonder, do teenagers these days know Tom Cruise as a movie star or as a crazy celebrity who jumps on couches and reveres a religion that believes in space aliens?  I think the latter. His bid for relevancy last night fell flat and was made even more embarrassing when Jennifer Lopez (or J.Lo as she used to call herself when she wanted to develop street cred) stepped on stage and starting dancing with him.

Moment When I Wanted To Kill Myself: The performances (mostly just one) -Christina Aguilera. Xtina, how you hurt my eyes and ears last night! I get that she has a complex from being overshadowed by more popular pop stars (Britney Spears and now Lady Gaga) but she needs to stop trying to be "edgy". It comes across as as desperate and annoying. We get it, you like to wear ugly latex outfits! You like to have sex! - which actually doesn't make you special since you are in your late 20s so if you didn't find sex interesting at this point in your life you would be weird, real weird. The light up heart on her crotch was laughable and too obvious of an attention grab. Katy Perry might have dressed up like a glow in the dark Smurf but at least she did it with a wink and had fun with it. Oh and most importantly, her songs are garbage and have no chance of being put on my guilty pleasure list.

Eye Roll: I am over the faux lezzie makeouts. They are boring. I think straight dudes might even be over it at this point.

Go Away Forever: Diddy, please. 

I admit that this is not all MTV's fault, I am outside their target sweet spot and must admit to myself I far too old to be watching this shit. Of course that won't stop me from watching the Music Video Awards.